Archived fic rec - Reaching As I Fall

[sakura_no_miko]

Title: Reaching As I Fall

Author: apokteino

Fandom: Supernatural

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Dean/Castiel

Warnings: character death, violence, character injury, betrayal, explicit sex (gay), possibly blasphemy

Other notes: alternate universe, secret identity, amnesia, thriller/mystery, spy network, religion/mythology, death and rebirth, character study, big bang entry

Length: 75k

Summary: “Service to God was the meaning of existence; service to Michael is nothing but slavery.” Castiel is part of an underground network helping angels fall, in resistance to heaven. At the same time that a fallen angel by the name of Dean Winchester turns up, some of those in the network are murdered by Michael’s forces – there’s a spy. What does Dean have to do with it? Who is Dean? And why are they hunting him so fiercely?

 

So, first up–yeah, I remember reading this fic and being a bit floored by the reveal. Which becomes kind of obvious, now that I know more of the canon.  Might not be as surprising to more saavy readers.

At any rate, I have some comments that will involve the big spoiler, so go and read now if you want the surprise.

Still here? Good.

I like the contrast to canon here. in canon, Castiel raises Dean up, giving him a sort of cosmic rebirth. And in this fic, as it turns out, Dean is the one who threw Castiel down, a cosmic death.

I love how Dean seems so young in this fic. I mean, I suppose he’s supposed to be whatever age he was around the start of the show–I want to say ‘22’ was mentioned, but I’m not sure–but there’s still a bit of innocence to him. His father is still alive, his brother is still alive, he’s never been to hell, he hasn’t even done all that much hunting in the AU (fewer demons running around). He’s still got some of his defining self-loathing, but this is a much kinder Dean, one who relishes in showing Castiel new things, and one’s who’s surprisingly open with his sexuality.

…all the more in contrast to his 'real self’, I suppose. Dean is both more openly human and more severely angelic than Castiel is, as it turns out.

Come to think of it, Castiel is actually a bit more angsty in this version–he’s been cut off, not-quite-fallen for a much longer period, and he’s a bit more scared, a bit more bitter, and, well, a bit came-back-from-the-dead-er. I could almost see him taking the famous “you don’t think you deserve to be saved” attitude here.

That’s really fascinating, actually–an AU where Castiel and Dean are almost switched, and yet still manage to retain the vital aspects of their personalities. Love it.

I really wanted to post this as a sort of counterpoint to Come Down Off Your Throne–in a way, this is Castiel losing Dean, rather than Dean losing Castiel, but a couple other fics also spring to mind: Like a Parched Land has more in the way of Cas and Dean switching their roles in life, and Theodicy explores some of the darker ways their relationship could play out, albeit with God!stiel in place of Michael!Dean.

 

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Originally posted on tumblr on 04/30/13