Archived fic rec - Control

[sakura_no_miko]

Title: Control (*AO3 user locked)

Author: Lydia

Fandom: The Invisible Man

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Darien/Bobby

Warnings: explicit sex (gay), angst, possible dubcon (lots of lying going on)

Other notes: fuck buddies, boys being stupid about their emotions, aaaaaaaaaangsty-angst-angst

Length: 2k

Summary: I used to love nights like these.

 

Oh, god, I read way too much Invisible Man fic over this last week or two. Mostly I’m still looking for that one fic that started it all, but along the way I started going through the leftover archives and–much as I love reading, between this and the Due South fics, I’m a bit fried out on angst.

Still, this little one was too angstfully beautiful to skip. Alongside Half Empty, my other rec for today, we get two lovely views of how a lack of communication and massive self-esteem issues can screw up a relationship. And the kicker is, both of those issues are ones that nearly everyone has experienced at some point. No matter how many fics you read where one character mournfully watches and pines and sexes and thinks to him or herself, “I love them so much but there’s no way they can love me back,” you know at some point you’ve felt the same way.

Well, at least I have. Maybe I’m being too broad with my generalizations, but from the amount of fic I’ve read on this topic, it seems like a good chunk of us in fandom have felt like that at one point or another. You can know in your head that it’s stupid or unhealthy or just plain not true, but sometimes all the logic in the world can’t stop that little voice in the back of your head that says, “I want to keep them, and I’ll delude myself as much as I have to to keep this going.”

I used to love nights like these. Back when it was just simple, honest sex. Now I hate myself for doing this to him. But not enough to not do it.

slays me each time. Is this some form of emotional masochism, I wonder? 

Also some delicious irony to the title–that Darien has finally mastered control of his powers, only to realize he has to pretend he doesn’t; that the more control he has over himself, the less he has over his relationship; that, in the end, he can’t really control anything.

Anyway, if you want more angst, go for Half Empty. If you need a pick-me-up, Love.

 

(Looking for more fic recs?)
Originally posted on tumblr on 02/05/13