Archived fic rec - A Heart Alone

[sakura_no_miko]

Title: A Heart Alone (AO3 mirror)

Author: BJ Cochran

Fandom: Due South

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Benton/RayK

Warnings: explicit sex (gay), recovering from alcoholism, angst

Other notes: holiday fic (Christmas)

Length: 6k

Summary: Home is where the heart is. Strike while the iron is hot. Never put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today.

 

Ah, this fic is an angsty one. I mean, it ends happily, but for a while, there, it’s not really holiday cheer.

That’s kind of an interesting concept, really–holiday cheer. For some people, holidays aren’t cheerful at all. I’ve had my share of horrible retail hours, putting up with very opinionated family members, getting soaked and stormed and snowed while trying to get through horrible traffic. I wouldn’t consider myself a holiday person in the least.

And yet, I remember my first big serious relationship, and thinking, I want to bring them home for Christmas. I don’t even like Christmas, but it has memories. It means family. It means familiarity. It’s a weird thing–during Christmas itself, I tend to be bored and mildly unhappy, but once I step away, it seems so important.

This fic is almost the opposite–that both Fraser and Ray have stepped away and convinced themselves it was all for the better, but once they see each other again, it’s like a knife to the heart. I probably sympathize too much–I have a bit of a workaholic streak myself, and I understand how easy it is to bury yourself in something mundane and time-consuming, just because it’s better than trying to figure out what to do or who to be with otherwise.

Darn. I’m melancholy now. Must go back and read all the emotional porn at the end to cheer myself up.

 

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Originally posted on tumblr on 12/23/13