sakura_no_miko

Title: The Good Times Are Killing Me

Author: minor-hue

Fandom: Merlin

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur

Warnings: break-up fic(-ish), angst, lots of emotional attacks, allusions to infidelity, explicit sex (gay)

Other notes: alternate universe, modern day, ANGST UPON ANGST

Length: ?

Summary: In which the boys pretend to still be together for Christmas (and there is more than one kind of charade).

I forgot how vicious this piece was.

Should have stuck to the fluff, really, but when I was thinking ‘Christmas fics’ this was one of the ones that popped to my mind.

Oh, why did I read this again? It’s not on the same level as Golden Boy (which still traumatizes me to this day), but for a good ¾ths of this story, my eyes were getting bigger and bigger, and I kept thinking, why am I subjecting myself to this? And why the hell can I see the actors, and the expression on their faces as I read?

This is probably why I’ve never watched Blue Valentine or Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. They cut a bit too close to the viciousness of recent break-ups. It’s really terrifying, when you think about it–how quickly you can come to loathe someone you loved before, the way you become ashamed you ever let them touch you, know your secrets, become part of your life and your happiness. And when you know someone that well, you know exactly what to play against them.

Written well, it’s the most terrifying shit ever.

Then you get to the halfway point, and that’s when I remembered why I liked this fic, because–

Spoiler

–it’s actually not a break-up fic. It’s a vicious, fighting, hurting fic, but ultimately not a break-up fic. Things hit the lowest point and then get better. It’s a hell of an emotional ringer.

(Looking for more fic recs?)
Originally posted on tumblr on 12/20/12