Fic rec - Ripples of Fate

[sakura_no_miko]

Title: Ripples of Fate

Author: Lacertae

Fandom: xxxholic / Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: mostly gen fic, established Touya/Yukito and Syaoran/Sakura, pre-relationship Watanuki/Doumeki

Warnings: discussion of familial death, animal death, and depression, grieving

Other notes: au, fix-it fic, family, feels

Length: 30k, plus sequel

Summary: 

He had been searching for years now, scouring through the dreamscape to find the Witch of Dimensions, and finally, he'd found her. And now he would find his missing family again.

“So tell me, Kinomoto Touya, what is it that you wish for?”

“I wish to meet with my nephew,” he said, and his voice carried over to Yuuko the urgency of his request.

 

Shoot, when my mind gets on a track it goes everywhere, and I’m sure there are so so so many CLAMP fics I’m gonna wanna get to.

But this one gets first — erm, second — place in the queue just because of the sheer fact that it made me something that is, in retrospect, completely obvious.

But, first: this entire fic is based on you knowing a spoiler from xxxholic and Tsubasa Chronicles. If you don’t know Watanuki’s true identity, this fic will not make any sense.

Not that most of the plot of xxxholic or Tsubasa makes a lot of sense to begin with. Epileptic trees is putting it mildly.

That is to say, Watanuki is, in fact, the third copy of Syaoran running around in this universe. Possibly the fourth. (Original/Tsubasa, clone, Watanuki, and maybe the version from CardCaptor Sakura?) When Tsubasa!Syaoran initially left to go and find Tsubasa!Sakura in the very first loop or whatever, it left a void in his own universe, and Watanuki was created to fill that void. Which is why, at the start of xxxholic, he’s very detached and has memory issues. He didn’t exist until Tsubasa!Syaoran left, and Tsubasa!Syaoran’s parents (who are actually the clone versions of Syaoran and Sakura, right? Reincarnated so they somehow give birth to the person they were cloned from? I don’t even know.) were also lost to a void universe.

Anyway. Watanuki is a created being, and the closest thing Touya and Yukito have left to family.

I’ve got such a soft spot for Touya and Yukito. One of my earlier ships. You just wanted them to be happy. It was so nice to see they were pretty much always together in the alternate Tsubasa worlds. (Though, I have not watched Clear Card chapter yet, so I dunno what’s gone on canonically.)

However, Tsubasa is suffering, so, yeah — there’s a universe where Touya and Yukito lost their sister, brother, and nephew in one fell swoop.

But this fic, it just makes me happy. I think most people discussed the big plot hole? twist? Essentially, Syaoran loves Sakura, but in order to gain the power to save her life, he has to give up his relationship with her — he can wake her up, but she will never remember him or their past together. And collectively, I think most of fandom said, well, that doesn’t preclude them from falling in love again, does it?  

Which is exactly what this fic addresses. Touya and Yukito want to meet Watanuki so badly, and he may not know who they are, but it doesn’t prevent them from forming a new relationship. And just — the price they pay, just to meet Watanuki, is their wedding rings. Touya is less bothered, because, as he says, the rings are a symbol, but their feelings will be there regardless. But just — 20 years of marriage. That much love. That much love, that many years together, are worth just being able to meet Watanuki. And Watanuki only gets to really see a sliver of that love. All that love, just so Watanuki can, for a little bit, feel comforted and safe.

And then there’s this passage:

It hadn’t been a good day. He didn’t remember the circumstances anymore, his memories faded with time, but he remembered the helplessness, the hopelessness, and the certainty that one day, a monster would wrap itself around him, and he would disappear from this world.

And nobody would care.

It had been such a certainty, that was all he could remember –and he hadn’t thought it would be too bad, then. Just something that would eventually happen. This thought filled him with dread now, but he’d never thought twice about it before.

It was absurd, but now Watanuki could see clearly what everybody had meant by telling him that he had changed.

Which just — damnit, I’m already feeling all teary-eyed about the wedding rings and then you throw this amount of hope and love and overcoming toxic thoughts at me.

Stop reminding me how much love there is in the world. My bitter heart cannot take it.

Mmm, other fic recs. Actually, as long as we’re on the topic of fix-it fics: Attendant. I gotta admit, the first time I saw the epilogue to xxxholic, I may have had a bit of a rage fit. Because what the flying hell. Watanuki is immortal and chilling with Doumeki’s identical grandson, waiting for Yuuko? Watanuki has had multiple members of the Doumeki family trailing alongside him? That — there are so many many things that piss me off about that, but this particular fic almost makes it okay. Almost. (Of course, later on I read the third one between and I got pissed all over again. Mobius made me sad too.)

I did also enjoy The Professor’s Wife, which I should probably write a full rec for at some point. See, if this had been the ending, I wouldn’t have been pissed. Maybe. I’m still not sure Doumeki and Watankui can have a positive relationship, to be honest. I’ve shipped way unhealthier relationships, and yet — this is like the one where I just tilt my head and go, no. Doumeki, you deserve better, you —

Wait. All The Faults You’ve Left Behind. That’s kind of where I see Doumeki and Watanuki. Which, I mean, I do know that Watankui’s whole storyline is that, yes, when things begin, he is not in a place to have healthy relationships, and he needs to find a way to be happy with himself first, but… Doumeki just gets hurt so much. Maybe things could get better. Maybe you end up with The Professor’s Wife and they age into something more healthy.

 

 

(Looking for more fic recs?) 

Originally posted on Pillowfort on 02/24/19