sakura_no_miko

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Derek/Stiles (pre-slash)

Warnings: background character death, violence, PTSD, aftereffects of trauma, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Other notes: traveling to an alternate universe, fix-it fic, angst, hurt/comfort, hurt/recovery, character injury, family, ensemble

Length: 63k

Summary: In which Stiles goes along with one of Derek’s plans and ends up in an alternate universe as a result. He should’ve known better. He did know better, actually, and that means he has no one to blame but himself.

“Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)”

I’ve only read a bit of Teen Wolf, but I really enjoyed this fic. I’m assuming this is kind of like a fix-it fic, in that the basic premise is that Stiles is accidentally hurled into a universe where all the tragedies he knows as history have yet to happen.

But–and this is what drew me in–it doesn’t ignore all the tragedy. We’re supposed to be happy that the tragedy is averted, but Stiles is still majorly fucked up. He has PTSD from a war and a lifetime no one else remembers. Everyone else gets to be innocent–and he’s the sacrifice for that.

Come to think of it, I swear I read Merlin fic with that same premise. Ah, yes, Post hoc, ergo propter hoc. Go read that one too. Survivor’s guilt all over the place.

There’s a scene where Stiles is woken up from a nightmare by his father, and

“Stiles,” Dad says, still with that sheriff-on-duty false calm, “what just happened?”
“Um.” Oddly, this situation is more incriminating than any of the times his own dad found him skulking around crime scenes. “I’ve had a really bad month?”
Not good; Dad’s not buying that line. “This isn’t the kind of thing that happens because you’ve had a bad month, Stiles,” he says. “This is the kind of thing that happens because you’ve had three tours in Iraq, and since I know that’s not the case here, you understand that I’m really concerned.”
If Dad could manage to be a little less perceptive, that would make Stiles’s life much easier. The trouble is, he hasn’t had time to wear this version of Dad down. Last timeline, the freaky stuff started relatively small, and by the time it had gotten this bad, Dad was just, he was tired. He was tired and defeated, and half the time he didn’t even bother to ask because he knew Stiles would lie and he couldn’t take it anymore. This version of Dad, though? He hasn’t given up. He’s still got energy, hope, faith in Stiles.
And Stiles doesn’t want to take that from him.

And it smacks you– “Teen” wolf, right? Teenagers. Kids. I grew up with the Animorphs series (and Everworld a bit later), which was all about these kids who were fighting a secret war, and, though I didn’t quite understand it at that age, getting worn down and dealing with PTSD and trying to mature in a way you wish children would never have to mature in. (Well, in a modern social context. After all, there have been hundreds of years of 14 and 15 year olds being parents and soldiers.)

And–I have to spoil the ending here, so please go read if you haven’t–and the resolution that shocks and pleases Sitles, is that all the mature, responsible adults go and take care of the evil villain and leave their kids safe at home. Stiles, who has been struggling to protect all these people who don’t even know him, is shocked.

Stiles clearly can’t believe it’s this easy. He stares at the phone fixedly after Mom hangs up, breathless, still waiting for the trick, for the lie, for the moment it all goes wrong. Laura sits beside him and rubs his back for a while, until the sheriff pulls him to his feet and steers him toward the stairs and his room, murmuring reassurances while Stiles nods mechanically.

Just–just that. To be protected by a loving family, to not be alone, to not have to keep struggling in silence and bearing the burdens of other people–that’s a shock to him, an unbelievable idea.

Oh, fucking hell that is painful to read.

Also, I’m really into the idea of having the normal human guy become a powerful mage in his own right. No idea if that’s canon or just strong fanon, but I like that we have werewolves (with varying degrees of powers), but we also have human hunters and magic users and scholars. I just love that sort of fantastic ensemble of abilities.

And, um–running out of ‘also’ and 'and’ here–I like that Stiles falls for Derek, but at the same time, he realizes that the relationship he had with Derek in his own world might have ended badly.

He’s had time since then, though, and he thinks he’d have gone for it eventually, if they’d both lived long enough. Scott was being pulled in a lot of directions and just didn’t have as much time for Stiles as he used to, and Derek…Derek was really attractive, Derek needed him, and Stiles…Stiles likes being needed. Of course, Derek resented needing people, and Stiles resents being resented. Not to mention the probable boatload of Kate Argent-related triggers Derek would refuse to talk about and Stiles would constantly be tripping over until they were both nervous wrecks. He has no idea how Ms. Blake handled that so well, but seriously, respect. Maybe she and Derek had complementary flavors of madness going, he doesn’t know. As for him, though, God, he can see the five-act tragedy playing out in his mind’s eye right now.
And if part of him still thinks it sounds like a fun challenge, that’s just, that’s a sign of damage, is what that is. “I would’ve been signing up to be a boyfriend, war advisor, and 24/7 therapist, all at the same time. It would’ve been a total disaster.”

Like, as much I go for the “pair up the sweet innocent character with the brooding angry character” cliche–and, yes, sometimes having someone in your life who can remind about the good things is an absolute lifesaver–there can be some really screwed up things with that sort of pairing. I mean, yeah–do you end up making one character the other’s salvation, their therapist, the one thing holding them back from becoming a villain? That’s a hard burden to bear, even for someone you love. And yet, ironically, in this case Derek becomes just that to Stiles, so, um… yeah.

On a technical note, though–there were a handful of scenes that alternated PoV, which threw me off at first. Also somehow Stiles starts calling Derek’s mom “Mom” partway in, and I never figured out if that was some unconscious thing he was doing. it’s funny–most of the time, I’m so into the narrative I miss the technical things, but this one I enjoyed so much I kept re-reading it and stuff began jumping out at me.

Ah, I really loved this story.

Looking for more fic recs?

Originally posted on tumblr on 12/27/14